Quotes

"Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it..." - Philip K. Dick

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction." - General Douglas MacArthur

"The only mistake God made in his creation of Men was that he gave them a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time." ~ Robin Williams

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." -Winston Churchill

We shall fight on the beaches. We shall fight on the landing grounds. We shall fight in the fields, and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills. We shall never surrender!'- Sir Winston Churchill

'As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality'- Albert Einstein

'From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put'- Sir Winston Churchill

'Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened'- Sir Winston Churchill

'Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater'- Albert Einstein

'You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want'- Ziglar Zig

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones'- Albert Einstein

Imagination is more important than knowledge...'- Albert Einstein (And I couldn't agree more!)

“The shortest distance between two points is under construction.” – Noelie Altito.

“It’s a control freak thing. I wouldn’t let you understand.” – S.H. Underwood.

“Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.” – E.B. White.

'The British nation is unique in this respect. They are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst'- Sr Winston Churchill

'I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter'- Sir Winston Churchill

'Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning'- Sir Winston Churchill

'A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them'- P. J. O'Rourke

'Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind'- Albert Einstein

'Matter is just the scientific word for stuff'- One of my science teachers who shall remain nameless to reduce embarassment on her part for teaching us something worth remembering and on mine for actually being the one teenager to listen to her that day/unknown author at ff.net/

'The only differance between a mad man and myself is that I am not a man'- my friend who I will always know as Dr. Toodles /same unknown from ff.net/

'Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results'- Albert Einstein

'It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose'- Darrin Weinberg

"Never feel self-pity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self." -Millicent Fenwick-

" Even a fool knows you can't touch the stars, but it doesn't stop a wise man from trying." -Harry Anderson-

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." -Albert Einstein-

** "Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open." -Thomas Dewar- **

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." -Tom Clancy-

*Nobody makes a greater mistake then he who does nothing because he can only do little. -Edmund Burke

*I am ready to meet my maker. Whether or not my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting
me is an other matter -Winston Churchill

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
- Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time."
- Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails."
- AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian

"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there."
- Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach

"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."
- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman

"The team has come along slow but fast."
- Casey Stengel, Baseball player/manager

"I think the team that wins Game 5 will win the series. Unless we lose Game 5."
- Charles Barkley, NBA Basketball Player

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
- Charles De Gaulle, former French President

"If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
- David Acfield

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

"The only reason we're 7-0 is because we've won all seven of our games."
- David Garcia, baseball team manager

"Sit by the homely girl, you'll look better by comparison."
- Debra Maffett, Miss America 1983

"We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."
- Decca Records Rejecting the Beatles, in 1962

"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something."
- Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated

"We're just physically not physical enough."
- Denny Crum, Louisville basketball coach

"Weather forecast: precipitation in the morning, rain in the afternoon."
- Detroit Daily News

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."
- Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

"Can you get a ticket for running a stop sign that is not
there?"
- Driver school applicant

"The world is more like it is now then it ever has before."
- Dwight Eisenhower

"A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money."
- Everett Dirksen, Congressman

"Boxing’s all about getting the job done as quickly as possible, whether it takes 10 or 15 or 20 rounds."
- Frank Bruno, Boxer

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe."
- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.
"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush, former U.S. President

"It is white."
- George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
- George Gobel

"If you think is was an accident, applaud."
- Geraldo Rivera, talk show host, to his audience on Natalie Wood's drowning

"I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity."
- Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House

"Does the album have any songs you like that aren't on it?
- Harry News, music reviewer

"Coming on to pitch is Mike Moore, who is six-foot-one and 212 years old."
- Herb Score, Sportscaster

"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding."
- Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons

"I don't want to ever, ever do something in life that isn't fun. Ever."
- Jennifer Love Hewitt, Actress, in the February Cosmopolitan.

"We're going to move left and right at the same time."
- Jerry Brown, Governor of California

"I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad."
- Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
- Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery

If pro is the opposite of con, does that mean that congress is the opposite of progress? (BCT)

Saving a life, is something that one must do, and yet, to me the most precious life then my own is someone I love. I don’t regret it one bit, for he is part of me as I am a part of him. ~ Zhane the Silver Astro Ranger

1)How many Starburst candies you can eat before your blood sugar is so high it qualifies as corn syrup instead of blood.

2)How many times you can try to start a car over the course of four hours before you give up and borrow someone else's jumper cables.

3)Whether or not there was a Voyager episode called "Twisted", in which the whole ship turned into a sort of maze.

4)If Cutter would consider dying his hair, since *someone* has now got me stuck on the idea that Andros and Zhane are elves.

5)How often you can watch Collin Raye's "I Can Still Feel You" video before you start seeing everything in black and white.

6)Why Jupiter has never been sucked into the supermassive black hole that is supposedly at the heart of our galaxy, since that seems like a good place for it.

7)Whether Kris or Timmin was the yellow Ranger, since there's never been a female green Ranger, and for some reason this seems really important.

8)If, as someone downstairs observed while I was watching PRS today, "you get an automatic "A" if your brain explodes during finals."

9)Why there's an upside-down box of Cap'n Crunch cereal on my windowsill, considering I don't like cereal and my roommate hates "Captain Crunch".

10)What my Astronomy professor would say if I asked to buy a vowel during tomorrow's exam

Notice

Death

1)See, here's the thing about tampons.
2)It's true that they're the greatest thing since sliced bread.
3)Which is a stupid expression, by the way, since sliced bread is really one of humanity's more boring inventions.
4)But tampons are fantastic, and like all fantastic things, they come with a serious warning label.
5)"Using this product may result in death by TSS."
6)Now, not everyone wears tampons to sleep.
7)But I really feel that the sleep factor is half the benefit of tampons.
8)The problem is that wearing a tampon for more than eight hours "increases your risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome".
9)No one really knows what this means, but it sounds bad.
10)So whenever you decide to go to bed you face a dilema involving not only how long you're going to sleep but also how long your current tampon has left on its clock.
11)And if you're running low because the only place to get Natracare organic tampons is half an hour away and you're too lazy to drive all the way there on the off chance that you're going to run out this month, you add a whole new aspect to the nightly dilema.
12)As I faced this very question last night, I remembered something I learned in an astronomy course several years ago.
13)On a list of the top twenty causes of death in the United States, Toxic Shock Syndrome was not one of them.
14)Suicide was, though, and it ranked as the eighth most common cause of death.
15)Murder was the ninth.
16)It turns out that if someone's going to kill you, the odds are it'll be you.
17)On the plus side, at least you'll see it coming.
18)Anyway, I figured if I'm more likely to kill me than TSS is, I might as well live the rest of my days in pad-free comfort.

"I realize that you're just making conversation, but after the fifty thousandth person has asked you what you're doing after graduation and you still don't know, suddenly it's like you have this life deficit or something."
--*Andrea

Notice

"A Guide To Effective Scientific Communication"

I don't remember where I saw this, but I find it terribly amusing--mostly in its accuracy.
Phrases commonly used in scientific journals are followed by translations in itallics.

--"It has long been known"
I haven't bothered to look up the reference

--"It is believed"
I think

--"It is generally believed"
A couple of other guys think so too

--"It is not unreasonable to assume"
If you believe this, you'll believe anything

--"Of great theoretical importance"
I find it kind of interesting

--"Of great practical importance"
I can get some mileage out of it

--"Typical results are shown"
The best results are shown

--"Three samples were chosen for study"
The others didn't make sense, so we ignored them

--"The four hour sample was not studied"
I dropped it on the floor

--"The four hour determination may not be significant"
I dropped it on the floor but scooped most of it up

--"The significance of these results is unclear"
Look at the pretty artifact

--"It has not been possible to provide definitive answers"
The experiment was negative, but at least I can publish the data somewhere

--"Correct within an order of magnitude"
Wrong

--"It might be argued that"
I have such a good answer for this objection that I shall now raise it

--"Much additional work will be required"
This paper isn't very good, but neither are all the others in this miserable field

--"These investigations proved highly rewarding"
My grant is going to be renewed

--"I thank X for assistance with the experiments and Y for useful discussions on the interpretation of the data"
X did the experiment and Y explained it to me

"He's a very smart guy. He's also a troublemaker. He has a lot of strong opinions;
some because he believes them, and some because they provoke people."
--Jessica

"I can't tell if I'm unusually abrasive today, or if everyone around me is just really touchy."
"Welcome to my world. Now you know what I put up with every day."
--*Andrea/Karen

1)If I like it, it's mine.
2)If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
3)If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4)If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5)If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6)If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7)If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8)If I saw it first, it's mine.
9)If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10)If it's broken, it's yours.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

"Strength is born in the deep silence of long-suffering hearts, not amid joy"-unknown

"Where there's a will, there's a way. Or, better, yet, where there's a will, get on it."

Hi, my name is nell, and I need help, I'm addicated to Harry Potter. Hi, nell!!!

They say true love hides behind every corner. I must be walking in circles!
If you're happy and you know it, get out of my house.
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.
Let the world roll along. I'll catch up later.
Life is short and so am I.
I love not being you.
It is hard to stumble when you're on your knees.
Sure, when -OINK! ::flap:: OINK! ::flap:: Well, I'll be darned!
Why be difficult? Put some effort in and be impossible.
Don't annoy the crazy person.
I think my mask of insanity is about to slip.
Even the smallest candle burn brighter in the dark.
I feel like I should have a great idea right now. But I don't.
Nature calls. Don't let the answering machine get it. Tristan
Just because I'm a genius doesn't mean I'm required to have a lot of common sense. Or any, for that matter.
I'm bored. Run for your sanity.
Sarcasm keeps you from telling people what you really think of them.
*~You can't change the past.... but you can change the future~*
*~I'm an angel! My horns are only there to hold up my halo! ~*
*~Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and Eskimos~*
*~I hope life isn't a big joke, cuz I don't get it~*
*~Those are my principles, if you don't like them, I have others~*
*~When you're as great as I am, it's hard to be humble~*
*~I think animal testing is a terrible idea. They get all nervous and give the wrong answers~*
*~I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose~*
*~Oh crap! It's a miracle! ~*
*~I'm going out! If I don't come back, avenge my death! ~*
I would but I would be too busy throwing a party!
*~I try not to let my mind wander. It's too small to be out by itself! ~*
*~You laugh cuz I'm different. I laugh cuz you're all the same~*
*~My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems~*
*~I don't need your attitude, I have one of my own~*
*~A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of~*
*~The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity~*
*~I never sit down - standing makes me feel important~*
*~Therapy helps, but screaming obscenities is cheaper~*
*~Don't annoy the crazy person~*
*~I can bend minds with my spoon~*

" The grass is greener on the other side, but you can always fertilize your lawn,"

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid forever
*~I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong~*
*~I am the one you're parents warned you about~*
*~Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity~*
*~Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you! ~*
*~Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday~*
*~Get outta my way or you won't be there for long~*
*~If it weren't for mood swings, I'd have no fun at all~*
*~I'm not deaf.... I'm just ignoring you~*
*~You are only as wild as the animal inside~*
*~I think - therefore I'm dangerous~*
*~Silence is golden but screaming is pretty damn fun~*
*~If we are what we eat.... then I'm fast, easy, and cheap~*
*~I may look busy but I'm just confused~*
*~When I die, bury me upside down so the world can KISS MY ASS! ~*
*~I am a freak! I know this! I accept it! I revel in it! ~*
*~If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you~*
*~There are 3 kinds of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those of us who wonder WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED? ~*
*~Your just jealous cuz the little voices talk to me~*
*~I knew something was wrong when my imaginary friends wouldn't play with me~*
*~They say true love hides behind every corner.... I must be walking in circles! ~*
*~Day by day, nothing seems to change but pretty soon, everything's different~*
*~Beauty is skin deep, but attitude is to the bone~*
*~21 out of 23 voices in my head say go back to sleep~*
*~A LOVE THAT IS DENIED ONLY GROWS STRONGER~*
*~I must be wishing on someone else's star, because SHE keeps getting what I'm wishing for~*
*~It's not polite to stare~*
*~It's not an attitude, it's the way I am~*
*~Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies~*
*~DON'T LOOK AT ME IN THAT TONE OF VOICE~*
*~My mother told me not to talk to strangers.... I never talk to myself anymore~*
*~I ran up the door, closed the stairs, said my pajamas, and put on my prayers. I turned off the bed, and hopped into the light, all because you kissed me goodnight~*
*~It takes a genius to whine appealingly~*
*~You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely~*
*~I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent~*
*~Reality is an illusion caused by lack of alcohol~*
*~Schizophrenia beats being alone~
*~I don't suffer form insanity, I enjoy every minute of it~*
*~Death is the greatest kick of all, that's why they save it for last~*
*~Sky-diving: good to the last drop~*
*~I'm not in denial I'm just selective about the reality I choose to accept~*
*~Avoid throwing shit at the fan~*
*~I used to be disgusted.... now I'm just amused~*
(On T-Shirt) BOMB SQUAD If running…Try to keep up.
Cuz I'm evil that's why.
You say psycho like it's a bad thing

"Always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
"Be nice to dragons, for you are crunchy, and go well with ketchup."
"The torture never stops."
"I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either."
"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone."
"It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail in the process."
"I do whatever the voices tell me to. It depends on who yells the loudest."
"Where would the world be without crazy people? … Wait! Don't answer that."
"I'm trying to find myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait."
"The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them."
"Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn."
"Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat."
"Chaos, panic, and disorder... My work here is done."
"Some people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them."
"I can be one of those bad things that happens to good people."
"Criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage."
"This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force."
"When the blind leadeth the blind, get out of the way."
"When in doubt, mumble."
"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

"It wasn't exactly a one-horse town, in the sense that you'd still see the town if a few horses stood in front of it."

I didn’t escape… ….They gave me a Day Pass
'I stole that word? Of course I stole that word! The whole english language is made up of stolen words!'- Me in a bad mood /need I repeat myself about the unknown?
'Stupidity got us into this mess, stupidity can get us out of it!'
Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.’
"I didn't deny it! I just didn't admit it!"
-Life isn't fair, get used to it. -
-I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. -
-Why is it called tourist season if you can't shoot 'em? -
-You were born an original, don't die a copy. -
-They say love is for everyone, well, how come I stand out in a crowd? -
-There is nothing more dangerous then good intentions combined with stupidity.

"It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail in the process."
What's the difference between an U.F.O and an intelligent man? I don't know, I've never seen either one.
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do own the whole road.

“Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should.”

~~Jeff Goldblum (Jurassic Park – Ian Malcolm)

MALCOLM
God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God
creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.

ELLIE
(finishing it for him)
Dinosaur eats man. Woman inherits the Earth.

~~Jeff Goldblum and Laura Dern (Jurassic Park)

The difference between me and you is that I make this look good. - Will Smith -Men In Black

I ain't heard no fat lady! "Forget the fat lady. You're obsessed with the fat lady." Independence Day
"Where are we going?" "Nowhere "So what's the rush?" -The Lost Boys
"You know how to use that thing?" [Pointing to the sword] "Sure. The pointy end goes into the other guy." -The Mask of Zorro
"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti." Silence of the Lambs

"A Jose Canseco bat... Tell me you didn't pay money for this." -Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

This is Professor Severus Snape, master of this school, and I command you to yield the information you conceal! " Snape said, hitting the map with his wand. As though an invisible hand were writing upon it, words appeared on the smooth surface of the map.
"Mr. Moony presents his complements to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his large nose out of other peoples business." Snape froze. Harry stared, dumbstruck, at the message. But it didn't stop there. More writing was appearing beneath the first.
"Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony and would like to add that Professor Snape is a ugly git." It would have been very funny if the situation hadn't been so serious. And the writing didn't stop there.
"Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor." Harry closed his eyes in horror. When he opened them, the map had its last word.
"Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape a good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slime ball."
- The Marauders -Harry Potter

"The only rules that really matter are these: What a man can do and what a man can't do"-Jack Sparrow-Pirates of the Carribean

"Death is only another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain curtain of this world folds back and all turns to silver glass. And then you see it. White shores, and beyond... a far green country under a swift sunrise." - Gandalf -Lord of the Rings
"All that is gold does not glitter;
Not all those who wander are lost." - LOTR, FOTR, J.R.R. Tolkien (and the scary thing is that most of us understand all those abbreviations)
"The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead, and the dead keep it. The way is shut." LOTR, ROTK

Recently my friend sent me an really funny e-mail entitled "Things you shouldn't do while watching the Return of the King"
I actually tried some of them and it resulted in me and my friend being thrown out of the Paramount in toronto for a week, but I am now going to share some of the best ones with you ( please do not try these at home, cuz people get really pissed off at you)

1. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming "You shall not pass"
2. remove the top of your drink, proceed to light the straw on fire and then tell people in the seats around you about the great battle that took place in your cup long ago ( did this one)
3. When Aragorn Legolas and Gimli go into the paths of the dead wait for a tense moment and then yell "I see dead people" ( did this one too)
4. finish off every one of Elronds lines with "Mr Anderson" ( only matrix fans will get this)( and this one)
5.At some point, during a battle scene, stand up and shout "I must go ! Middle Earth needs me !" and then run up and try to jump into the screen. after bouncing off quietly return to your seat (my friend did this. this was what led to us being thrown out of the theater)
6. Stand up halway through the movie and yell loudly "Wait.. Where's Harry Potter ?"
7.Talk loudly about how you heard there is a single frame of a nude elf hidden somewhere in the movie
8. Release a jar of daddylonglegs in the theater, during the shelob scene
9. Play a drinking game where you have to take a shot every time someone says "The Ring"
and the final one ( which I attempted to do).....
10.Talk like Gollum all through the movie and at the end either a) try to bite someones finger off and then fall down the stairs or b) steal someones ring and run away yelling "It's mine, my own my precious" then proceed to hide in the back of another theater all the while whispering " precious" -Author on ff.net

"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love."
-Charlie Brown

"Taking over the world is one thing. Finding good help to run it for you, that's the killer."
-Ivan Ooze: MMPR the Movie

“A whispered truth has no power over shouted lies, is appears.”- S.Snape, ff.net

There is no such thing as day without night, joy without pain, or success without loss, but that will never make it easier for the heart.
-Mariella Eyre, Hogwarts Headmistress, 1356-1408
Harry, personally, had always found it highly amusing that the Maternity Ward was part of the Ward for ‘Creature-induced Injuries’. Tanydwr, ff.net

No rest for the wicked -Sirius, ff.net
'Thank the heavens, he's alive. I'm going to kill him for scaring me like that.' –Hermione
*It's difficult to be properly intimidating when you're completely and utterly pink.* -voices in Harry’s head
"We're talking about the boys that stole every single toilet seat in the entire school." –Ginny about Gred and Forge
And seem a saint, when most I play the devil. --Richard III

I envision a chorus of Gryffindors singing the opening number, “The Boy Who Lived.” A line of Weasleys dressed in sparkling, gold hot-pants go can-canning across my imagination. I shudder and quickly stop that train of thought before Voldemort enters stage left and starts his solo, “This Potter Must Die.”
*Hosanna! Superstar!*
Oh gods. I’ve gone mad.
- Severus S., psa

"Been reading the dictionary, have you? And don't stick your tongue out at me unless you plan to use it."
- Severus S.

Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic."
-from "The Sayings of Muad'Dib" by the Princess Irulan
(Dune by Frank Herbert)

Kevin Sorbo as Dylan on Gene Rodenberry's Andromeda said, "I don't need the saluting. But I *like* the saluting."

“Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. From what I’ve tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire.”

"To love another person is to see the face of God." - Les Miserables, disc 2 on the CD

"No overexerting yourself. This means keeping the things you do at a bare minimum. Oh, don’t whine—yes, you can still do the laundry! Gods, but you’re obsessive." - Rule Three in 'A Stork For Sessha,' a Ruroni Kenshin fic by Imbrium Iridum

24 Important rules of combat

*You say it's pointless to do anything because you can only do little? Throw a pebble in a lake and watch how the ripples in the water keep getting bigger. Do you think that pebble knew it could do that? No. If it had, it would have jumped into that lake on it's own. All it needed was a little push. That's all I'm giving to you. -

"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."
- Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm

(I got the next few off some signs at a souvenir shop)
“Home sweet home is far from this dump.”

“Some days I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep.”

“Friends are there to hear the song in my heart and clue me into it when my memory fails.”

“When I get the urge to clean, I lay down until it passes.”

"A university professor set an examination question in which he asked the difference between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: 'I don't know and I don't care.'" - Richard Pratt (I got it off of Sea Chelle; her other ones are relly good too)

"I have PMS and a gun. EXCUSE ME. You were saying?"

"I can go from chick to BITCH in 3.5 seconds!"

"If all the world's a stage, then men need better roles."

"It's been lovely, but I have to SCREAM now."

"God did not create men and women equal...don't worry; give him time, and he'll evolve."

"I'm not as think as you drunk I am!"

"Warning: Trespassers will be shot
Warning: Survivors will be shot again."

"I feel that there is an angel inside me whom I am constantly shocking!"

"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."

"It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?"

"Suicide is a way of telling God: 'You can't fire me, I QUIT!'"

"This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence."

"You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me."

"Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."

"'Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit' as said by those incapable of its proper application and as such suffer from it a lot."

"Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."

"My goal in life is to hurt you, severely. Come here..."

"That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again."

"I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert."

"I hear voices, and they don't like you."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished."

"This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force."

"He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged."

"For sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain."

"Always remember you're unique...just like everyone else."

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

"If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!"

"My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems."

"I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and look at it forever."

"How little do they see what is, who frame hasty judgments upon that which seems."

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."

"They say love hides behind every corner. I must be walking in circles!"

"Nobody makes a greater mistake than he who does nothing because he can only do little."

"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."

"I believe in God, and I believe in human decency. But I firmly believe that any man's finest hours, his greatest fulfillment to all he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle victorious."
--- Vince Lombardi

/And I ask what would you care of the “good cause” and decency when you’re drug trough the mud and dieing from the battle wounds be it victorious or not?/

“Lose more of your sanity today?”

God has a cruel sense of humor. –Pose, ff.net

I will be true, for there are those who trust me,
I will be pure, for there are those who care,
I will be strong, for there is much to suffer,
I will be brave, for there is much to dare.

Unknown

********************
* Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

* When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the
sky.

* The rotor is just a big fan on top of the helicopter used to keep the pilot
cool. When it stops, you can actually see the pilot start sweating.

*The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

* Stay out of the clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about
might just be another helicopter traveling in the opposite direction.

*You start out with a full bag of luck and an empty bag of experience. The
trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

*There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately, no
one knows what they are.

We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot     Drink up me hearties, yo ho!    We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot     Drink up me hearties, yo ho!

Yo ho, yo ho, A pirate's life for me!

We extort, we pilfer, we filch and sack     Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!     Maraud and embezzle and even highjack     Drink up me hearties, yo ho!

Yo ho, yo ho, A pirate's life for me!

We kindle and char and inflame and ignite     Drink up me hearties, yo ho!    We burn up the city, we're really a fright    Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!

Yo ho, yo ho, A pirate's life for me!

We're beggars and blighters and ne'er do well cads     Drink up me hearties, yo ho!     Aye, but we're loved by our mommies 'n dads     Drink up me hearties, yo ho!

Yo ho, yo ho, A pirate's life for me!

We're rascals and scoundrels, we're villains and knaves     Drink up me hearties yo ho!     We're devils, we're black sheep and really bad eggs     Drink up me hearties, yo ho!

Yo ho, yo ho, A pirate's life for me!     Yo ho, yo ho, A pirate's life for me!

It's all I can do, I feel tied down. Tied down to a world where perfection is required. I don't want to live in the world of perfection, I want to be free in a world of mistakes.

I'm number three a mixture of how the world should be. Mistakes are really just creativity escaping from you into the world.

Who ever said: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Never got hit with a dictionary.

"I must admit, you brought religion into my life. I never believed in Hell till I met you."

"We don't really have enemies. It's just that some of our best friends are trying to kill us."

To steal ideas from one person is called plagerism. To steal ideas from many is called research

There are many things you should never say to a police officer. One of them is "I swear to drunk i'm not god."

Before insulting someone, always walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an airplane, and everyone joins in."

I’m 21 and legally old enough to do all the stuff I’ve been doing since I was 13

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that a hostage situation?

Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic and say "Who do you think you are?

Take a look at a castle, any castle. Now, break down the key elements that make it a castle. They haven't changed in over a thousand years.

One: location. A site on high ground that commands the territory for as far as the eye can see.

Two: protection. Big walls, walls strong enough to withstand a full frontal attack.

And four: a flag. You tell your men "you're soldiers and that's our flag." You tell them "nobody takes our flag." Then you raise that flag high where everyone can see it.

The Echoing Green
By: William Blake

The Sun does arise,
And make happy the skies.
The merry bells ring
To welcome the Spring.
The sky-lark and thrush,
The birds of the bush,
Sing louder around,
To the bells cheerful sound.
While our sports shall be seen
On the Echoing Green.

Old John with white hair
Does laugh away care,
Sitting under the oak,
Among the old folk,
The laugh at our play,
And soon they all say.
Such, such were the joys.
When we all girls & boys,
In our youth-time were seen,
On the Echoing Green.

Till the little ones weary
No more can be merry
The sun does descend,
And our sports have an end:
Round the laps of their mothers,
Many sister and brothers,
Like birds in their nest,
Are ready for rest;
And sport no more seen,
On the darkening Green

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

IF YOU WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDN'T GO TO YOUR FUNERAL CAUSE I'D BE IN JAIL FOR KILLING THE BITCH THAT KILLED YOU! SEND IT TO YOUR TRUE FRENDS

A friend calls you while you're in jail, a good friend visits you while you're in jail and a best friend will be sitting next to you yelling, "THAT WAS AWESOME LET'S DO THAT AGAIN!" If you have a best friend copy and paste this into your profile.

Someone makes fun of you. A good friend would make fun of them back. A true friend would beat the shit out of them for you. Copy and paste in profile if you have any "true" friends.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you think that all birds are messengers from hell, and that they all must die (GWA-HA-HA), copy this into your profile.

Instead of doing it yourself, you like to copy. If that describes you, paste this into your profile.

If your friends are the type who get hit by PARKED cars, copy this into your profile.

If you have a friend who can eat four bags of popcorn chiken, three helpings of mashed potatoes, two chocolate milks, plus a twix bar, and still stay disgustingly skinny, (and is not bulimic) copy this into your profile

If water was Vodka and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up, but since waters not vodka and I'm not a duck, give me a beer and shut the f*** up. _ My brother Mikie and his friend Bryce